Sunday 10 September 2017

Why I dropped out of uni...& why I'm going back

Two years ago I became set to head off to university to study law. I bought my first car to drive up there everyday, a whole heap of stationary, and became increasingly excited at every 'sign up for...' or 'register for...' email. Two years ago I went to uni. Two years ago I wasn't ready.

My life back then was completely different. I was in a (what I thought was) a long term relationship, worked my bum off revising for my exams, to not end up with the results I wanted. My journey as such, started when I was writing my first personal statement. I was set on a marketing degree and after one 'are you sure' comment; my 'you don't want to do this' mind flipped and I chose law. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.
I started year 13 with a fresh statement, and applied for universities mostly close to home. As much as I wanted to move out, I wasn't ready at all to move at that time. I got all 5 conditional offers and as I always plan for the worst; when one changed to unconditional, I mentally prepared myself for not getting the grades for my first choice. I knew, before even collecting my results, that I was accepted to my backup option, but once I was over the gutting of the grades, it was never an issue really.

I worked on the weekends. I didn't really need to as, because I wasn't in uni halls, my maintenance loan and grant went a little further than others' did. That job, standing behind a till for 4-8 hours twice a week was awful. I was physically drained, as well as having (undiagnosed but I'm certain its arthritis) in my joints.

My days during the week would go as followed: Monday-9am-10am lecture....5pm-6pm lecture. I would get up at 5, leave my house at 6, be in traffic on the M25 for two and a half hours, park the car, rush to the lecture room for an hour. Then spent 8 hours in my car. Literally sitting in my car. Sometimes I'd meet a pal or something in the library, but no one that I knew lived on campus and they could go home in between. My day could also go like: Monday- 9am-10am lecture... rush there, traffic etc... for it to be cancelled. Or the 9am one would be fine, and I'd wait around to be told at half 4 that the 5pm one wouldn't be on.

I was mentally drained and over the Christmas break, it was constantly on my mind about leaving. My final strike as such was part of our grade was to do a presentation with a few other people. No one in my group tried or bothered, and mixed with my whole 'I can't do presentations without combusting' thing, I skipped uni that day, and researched to quit the next. My last day was one of mixed emotions. I got my form signed by one of my favourite lecturers, had my final costa coffee from the Law building, and treated myself to a subway before I drove home.

Looking back, part of me wishes I'd have stuck at it. I think of the little things, like meeting Sinead before a workshop, or shopping for everyone's Christmas presents. I think of the fact that I'd have been about to start my final year, and nearly be a graduate. But. I look back knowing that the course I was on, I have no interest in. I didn't care for it from the second I first signed up for UCAS never mind the day I left.

And today I can happily say. I'm going back. Haaaa what am I doing.....
I've always thought about a course that relates to business or blogging. Before I even left I applied for a journalism course at a more local uni. I luckily got my full time job last July, so put the course on hold. I had to chose recently what to do, if to take up the course or not. I decided not to take it and immediately started looking at part time degrees. Part time usually means 4/5+ years instead of 3. I couldn't find any at all until I clicked on the Uni of Essex online page, and found that they offered a business and marketing course, fully online, that would last up to 4 years. Within a day or so, the admissions team called me, applied for my finance, and sent through my offer letter. The course, business and marketing, opens me up for alot of things. The first thing is obviously helping with my job. Once I complete this, I can study for a PGCE and become a teacher, something I've wanted to be for pretty much my entire life. But it also helps my blogger prospects. Running a blog, and earning money through it, is, a job. I'll understand how a business works more, and the marketing part could also land me some experience with PR companies, something I'm very interested in, being on the other side of it.

I left university aged 19 because I simply wasn't ready. I think nows the time, at nearly 21, that I know what I want, and I'm going to get it.


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