Monday 28 May 2018

How I manage a work-uni-blog life (spoiler: I don't)

The last time I went out was October. It's nearly June. I don't count my birthday party because that was inside and I drank coke all night as my throat had felt like killing me off on my 21st. I'm not much of a goer-outer, so for me this isn't much of an issue, just a point really. I remember back two summers ago, I had just quit my uni course after lasting 6 months and was working 8 hours a weekend because I physically couldn't handle anymore standing. My weekend work wasn't the most accommodating. A year before, I ended up in hospital with blue, clotting legs, and at work, when the end of my shift came around and I just wanted to sit down after hours and hours of standing still, I was told to go back to my till and wait until they said I could go, or drag a basket full of rubbish upstairs and lob it into a bin. Two summers ago I found my current job, in my old secondary school and my life changed for the better. When I started, I was working there from 8.15-4 (ish) everyday and until October of that year, did 6 hours a day on the weekends also. I'm not sure how I did it, but I did, and quitting that awful retail place was one of the best feelings in the world. 

Fast forward a year. It's September again, I'm still at my full time job, and blogging on the side. Silly Katie decided that writing blog posts of an evening isn't enough work, and thinks going back to uni would be a fun idea. Oh Katie, aren't you silly. The end of September arrives and I'm working the same hours a day, but now I'm at the stage in my blog career that I'm attending events every few days. September sees new beauty launches, pre-fashionweek stuff, and the usual press parties. I would then come home, and sit on my bed at 9/10pm to learn a new unit for my degree. Come October and my mum mutters "you're burning the wick at both ends, soon you'll fuse out". And I did. I cried because I couldn't think straight and was only passing my units, not getting the merits I'd hoped for. I'm a morning person, to an extent, but would wake up at 7.15 and have about 20 minutes to get ready if I had any hope of getting myself some food for the day on the way to work. Whilst we're on the food subject, I lost all appetite. Now, I'm a big eater. Give me McDonalds' three times a day and I'll be yours. Anxiety was a minutely (rather than daily) experience, and come October, I simply couldn't do it anymore. 

I stopped going to every event I was asked to. Train fares aren't cheap, and pretending to like the awful prosecco I was being given was a harder task to swallow, literally. My grades were going up, and I actually got home, showered and to bed at a normal time. We're now in May, nearing June, and I'm still juggling life. I leave for work at 7.40, head to Asda to get my tuna sandwich and water, then get in at 8 before everyone in my department, bar my bosses. I'll leave work at 3.30 unless it's my overtime day, which will see my exit at 4.20ish, and head home. Ofc I do still love going to product launches, now that I know a few people in my industry, shall we call it. But these are rare, far and few between, and I'm happy with that. There's nothing worse than thinking I have a deadline in two days and my evenings are spent being ignored by a PR rep whilst I'm having a canapĂ© shoved in my face. I do my uni degree completely online, with lectures and forums and essays submitted every two weeks. I don't have to drive anywhere or make conversation with people in a classroom, and I bloody love it. I plan things to a T and writing lists helps me to see how much of something I need to do that evening, be it blog, work or uni related. I spend each weekend out taking photos, which is hard when your blogger pals have free time during the week, and you only have half terms to venture into the city. 

I'm doing well. Anxiety is still at a high, and my stress will never stop. I have say, 3 or 4 different possible career paths right now that I'd be happy with. I'm also completing a very expensive course through work which will be amazing to have behind me once I'm done in November. Another thing to add to my list, but something I'm ever so grateful for. My life is jam packed with things, and I never have a 'day off' as such. But when you enjoy what you do and your hobby is classed as one of your jobs, how could you complain really.


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