Wednesday 6 March 2019

Saying no to friends riding on your success

I started this blog when I was 15. Stopped and started and stopped and started again. In the past two or so years, it's become my space, my love, and possibly a career prospect. No one told me to start it. No one gave me advice or taught me the background code knowledge I know. As many of us are, all self taught, all self made. So why on earth does my friend Sally think she's entitled to come as a +1 to the events that I'm invited to, or some of the press samples I'm sent to try out? Sally doesn't have a blog. Sally couldn't care less. I've asked. Sally isn't my mum or my sister. Sally isn't me.

For a long time I didn't know anyone in the blogosphere as it were. I would ask for a +1 to things so I wasn't alone, and take Sally along sometimes. Sally would get the free beauty treatments, the drinks and food, and the goody bags. Sally would sit in the car on the way home slating how 'rubbish' those goody bags were and that I need to find better events. I took Sally to my first 'big brand' event as it were a year or so ago. It was my first 'omg how did I get invited to this' moment and at the time, I was happy to share that with my 'friend' Sally. A month passed and the brand invited me to another event, Halloween themed. I didn't tell Sally because it was none of her business and didn't cross my mind to. By this point I had a small group of blogger friends who I'd meet up with anyway, so no need to +1 it as such. I went to the event, did the Insta stories, and came out to a handful of rude messages from Sally about 'how dare I' not take her with me. This continued for months. In June I was due to attend an event with my other half, with my blogger pals also. An event with a huge huge brand and one I cry a little inside at each email from them. I attended said event with my friends, and my other half was stuck in traffic on his way home after work so would have missed most of the evening, so I told him not to bother as I had people there anyway. Sally saw where I was and asked how everything was going. When I explained my boyfriend's situation, she not only texted me abuse about not inviting her, inviting him OVER her, and because by this point she had taken a handful of my photos, it was HER who should have been invited to this event and not ME. This bitchy comment is still referred back to today when she wants to have a pop for something. There are many, many incidents like these, too many to count. The latest was around LFW where Sally goes "are WE going to any LFW events? They seemed to have dried up recently and I haven't been going to any". Do you see why I'm just a tad irritated here?

Since when are 'friends' automatically allowed to ride on your success? Since when does one event invite mean I have to take her everywhere for the rest of my blogging career? For a 'friend' to have the audacity to say that they're being replaced because you took your boyfriend to a product launch and not her is ridiculous. Screenshots and rolled eyes are sent to the group chat when another moaning message comes through. Sally, you just look stupid my love. If you want all 'this' then bloody work for it. I'm sick of having to defend my actions for someone else's self entitlement. It's OK to say no. To say 'because I don't want/have to' and to take whoever you like to whatever you like. I didn't see Sally giving me a cheque when she got a pay rise? Works both ways sweetie. 


1 comment

  1. She sounds like a bad friend to me. I'd be blocking her on social media and distancing myself from her.


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