Tuesday 6 January 2015

Body confidence 101

In 2010 (or 11...) I took part in Gok Wan's "the naked truth" TV show, where they took to the grounds of parliament to bring body education into schools, and try and help teens love themselves. 10 people from my school were chosen and when filming, we're split into a few groups with other schools and main people on the show, made a circle around a mirror, and in turn, looked at ourselves and said things we liked and disliked. Then the rest of the group would say a few things they liked about us, e.g. hair. Although some of the girls took this as an opportunity to pretend that they had the worst confidence in the world ( which when they strutted round school like they did, there was clearly no lack of confidence to be seen), the experience was completely positive. I cannot remember if the efforts of Gok and the show ever helped make body confidence a topic in schools, as when I was 14, it would have been too late to introduce it into a school program for mine and other close school years. 

Body confidence doesn't have to relate to women, which I think many people will associate it with. Men struggle just as much as women, which someone can see through little comments or facial expressions someone makes when something is said or seen. A few males that I know, struggle to grow facial hair, some think they're too skinny, and viseversa. And I don't think this is looked at.

 For me, I don't see women in magazines and feel bad because they have a skinnier or taller body than me. Because they get paid to do so. I think that people who accuse women/men in magazines of making other people feel bad about themselves are completely wrong. Of course there will be people who don't look like these models and negatively compare themselves, but I don't think that every person with body confidence issues has these because of these skinny or good looking people.

Songs like Annaconda and All About that bass bring such strong messages that are completely inappropriate. They talk about not judging larger women and that 'real' men like women with bigger arses for example, and skinnier people should know this? Is it now seen as wrong to be skinny? I don't have a big back side so does that mean I'm not as attractive as someone who is bigger than me in different ways? Society and certain public figures have instead of stopping all harsh comments and rudeness towards people, have gone the other way and backlashed the opposite people. It's completly ridiculous. When I heard the lyrics '...skinny bitches that... I know you think you're fat' I was disgusted. I am skinny. I've had to walk everywhere to most of my life since my mum couldn't drive until last year, and I complexity adore healthy food because it tastes nice. So yeah I'm skinny, but no, I have never and will never think that I'm fat. And no. My boyfriend doesn't like a little more 'booty to hold at night' thanks. I just think that it's the most stupid message to send out to little girls who like a catchy tune.

We will all incounter someone who will mock us for something we cannot change, height/weight/looks, and at some point everyone has or will try to change themselves to better suit the image of 'perfection'. We all want to be loved, socially and by someone and in that search for love, we become side tracked by the wants of people who we won't know for more than a year or even 10 years. So in the grand scheme of things, changing for someone who won't be there during the next few important stages of your life, really shouldn't influence the stage you are in now. 

For myself, I took a large confidence step this year. I go to work every week with absolutely no make up on at all. Simply because I don't care. In 2/3 years time I won't be working there and I most likely won't see them ever again. So right now, I don't care how I look. I'm always tired and I hate work, so why waste make up on 4-6 hours of your life standing with people you barely know, only to come home wipe it off and sleep. 

In the year 2015, I will definitely try to be more adventurous, and in my mind that means less attention to detail with make up, and doing things I want to do. If I want to wear a bikini and I feel bloated? I'm gonna wear one. Left my eyebrows to grow and haven't been in pain to make them look 'nice' in a while? It doesn't matterrrrr. I'm doing me, and I think you should do you too.

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